So, there is a social media app that is geared for the Gay Male Bear community called Growlr that I have enjoyed using for almost a year now.
Recently, I saw a wonderful “About” section by a user named Kelvin. I was so impressed and so moved by what he wrote, I asked his permission to create a blog post about it here, and he graciously agreed.
This is something Kelvin wrote in his journal during the middle of May, 2014. And here it is only slightly edited; on his Growlr profile, it was written as one long paragraph, but I felt that it would be easier on the blog follower’s or blog reader’s eyes if it was in smaller paragraphs, as opposed to one large one. Also, I replaced “NJ” with “New Jersey,” and “NYC” with “New York City.”
Here we go…
“I’ve been thinking a lot about the gay community around me lately.
“For a few weekends now, I have gone out for drinks with friends to gay bars in New Jersey and New York City. And it’s always so interesting to find that everyone shits on the nice guy. But I don’t think it’s because they are bad people. I don’t think anybody is “bad.” It’s just that their eyes are so closed. It’s because we live in a community where skinny is beautiful at the cost of starving the hungriest parts of your soul.
“We live in a community where broken hearts are made numb with alcohol and a good long fuck. Where the suggestion of ‘we should grab dinner or a drink sometime’ is followed up with ‘I don’t date. I want you to come over tonight.’ We pick a life of homosexuality so that we can show the world how to love unconditionally. Our brothers before us taught us to love beyond color, and our sisters after taught us to love despite our gender.
“Now, we pick this life to learn to love ‘despite of.’ That my capacity to love was never measured by how big my dick was or counting packs on my abs. That it was never defined by the blank check waiting to be filled, or the swag of my hat or the bling on my body.
“We forget that our love is only defined by the deepest parts of ourselves that remember how to love. Instead, we forget to define it by a look, a kiss that lingers so deep, it doesn’t take our breath away, but instead we need a second to get it back from a moment that exists so far from this place we call home. We forget that loves exists in our crooked smile and in the frequency of our laughs. We are blind to see the love in our tears and numb to feel the love in our rage.
“But people don’t shit on the nice guy because they are bad people. They shit on him simply because they can’t see themselves in him. How lonely it must feel to kiss the broken parts of your self without ever realizing you have spent your entire existence to experience this one, beautiful moment that you just let slip away.
“So clean off your glasses and update the prescription on your contacts. OPEN your EYES! Every thing you were ever looking for was only ever just in front of you. The irony is, we have been taught to always be afraid to see what we might find in the mirror. That what you see is always just a defect on the production line.
“But I promise you, that whatever you find…it was never shy from always being beautiful.”
I was quite touched and moved by what Kelvin wrote in his Growlr profile. It was powerful, and I felt it was worth sharing. I AM committed to people being empowered and free, and the insights that Kelvin shared from his personal journals certainly give one, especially a Gay Man, much on which to reflect.
Kelvin is a Life Coach, and if you want to know more about him or his professional services, please feel free to visit his Facebook page, http://www.facebook.com/youareyourfuture, and please let him know that you found out about him via “This Gay Man’s Life…”