This morning, I woke up early, to engage in reading and writing Spiritually Uplifting words.
As I was reading passages from the two “page-a-day” books with which I AM working this year, Affirmations for the Inner Child, by Rokelle Lerner, and Lavender Reflections: Affirmations for Lesbians & Gay Men, by Eleanor Ruth Wagner, photographs by Victor Arimondi, I was Divinely Guided to share some of these passages with all of you.
Here we go…
The laws of God, the laws of man
He may keep that will and can
Not I: let God and man decree
Laws for themselves and not for me;
And if my ways are not as theirs
Let them mind their own affairs.
Their deeds I judge and much condemn,
Yet when did I make laws for them?
“Last Poems, XII,” from The Collected Poems of A. E. Housman
My anger is an important part of me.
Anger is a sane response to the reality of my life. Dealing with the homophobic world, I feel angry. I get furious at the world that tells me I am bad and sick and defective. I am enraged when people try to change me or decide for me whether I should be in or out of the closet. I am angry with myself for not consistently standing up to the world proudly or for not always loving myself just the way I am.
Often I try to hide or deny my feelings. Today I acknowledge my anger and choose new ways of dealing with it that do not destroy myself or others. I seek people who can support me in all my emotions and places where I can express hostility safely. In certain circumstances it is inappropriate or unwise to express my anger, but I need a way to deal with all those angry feelings, and I can structure ways of doing that.
Being angry doesn’t have to mean being out of control. Sometimes I need to shout my anger, but I can also be angry in a soft voice. I can find safe physical ways of dealing with strong feelings, and sometimes simply talking or crying helps me work them through.
As I deal with my anger, I am finding there is less of it, and I can live without a constant chip on my shoulder. I am being healthy in my anger.
Healing from Abuse
I heal from sexual abuse.
Many people, heterosexual, homosexual and bisexual, male and female, have suffered sexual abuse. Even if I have not experienced such abuse myself, someone close to me may be a survivor of abuse, and I choose to participate in the collective healing of a sick society that has allowed this violence to occur.
I need to be patient and impatient–letting myself know that the healing will take a long time while working to find the help I need to speed the healing process. Trusting my inner voice, I do whatever is necessary to take care of myself. I did not deserve this abuse. I do deserve to heal.
I realize that my sexual orientation is a positive aspect of my selfhood, not the negative after-effect of past trauma. I affirm that no one can make me homosexual or heterosexual. If I am bisexual, my life experiences may affect which gender I choose for my relationships, but when it is a choice, I am in control of that choice. As I find more joy in my same-sex loving, I refuse to give any perpetrator of evil credit for what is good in my nature. I am who I am, and I am healing with each new day.
May these Life-Affirming words empower you, heal you, strengthen you.